Friday, January 13, 2012

Will the real Dr. Amy please stand up? Part II

In my previous post, Will the real Dr. Amy please stand up? I presented my readers with an idea of what the skeptical community really thinks about Amy, the unlicensed and retired doctor. It was quite the eye opener.

Well, I have stumbled upon some new information and I realized, that after all this time, I have had Amy all wrong. I always believed she had something against natural birth and homebirth but it's much more than that. The reality seems to be that she is against women. I know that sounds extreme but let's not forget who were are talking about here. This is a woman who sees the world in black and white terms. It would make sense that she would be so vehemently against homebirth; homebirth gives women choice. If you dislike women, you don't want them to have choice.

You may wonder what the point is in giving you all a look into Amy's mind. Why don't we just ignore her, right? She's just a lonely, old lady with some wacky views. Well, I wish it were that simple. I really do. The problem is, Amy deceives a lot of people. If you don't know her background and all you read is.. "Harvard educated, Ob-Gyn", you may think, "Hey, maybe this lady is legitimate. Maybe we should listen to what she has to say." And you know, she actually could be legitimate but she loses all credibility when she takes her views too far. Her rigid and unwavering stance on so many issues really calls her rationality into question. Quite frankly, Amy Tuteur is not a reliable source for unbiased information.

Below is an exchange between Amy and her readers on a post she wrote about children deserving to have biological parents in their life and in their home, everyday. Sounds fair right? Well, it's not that simple. In a perfect world, yes, every child would have a happy home with both biological parents. But we don't live in a perfect world. We live in a world where some biological parents lie, cheat, gamble and drink. We have fathers who are mentally ill and unstable and worse. In those instances, a mother is doing a service to her children, when she removes him from the home. That's not what Amy believes, though.. let's take a look, shall we?

The belief that women should be stigmatized for being single moms. I can't help but think this would harm the children of single mothers, more than the mother's themselves...

The belief that children should only be conceived in marriage. So, mothers who accidentally get pregnant are automatically selfish and self indulgent?

The only thing that counts when two people divorce, is that the woman gets want she wants, she never thinks of anyone else but herself. Bad, selfish women..

Hmm. So, if your husband cheats on you- even repeatedly, you are supposed to stick around and take it? And if you don't, YOU are the selfish and self indulgent one? According to Amy, a cheating father doesn't threaten a child's happiness.. no, it's the mother's choice to leave that cheating husband that really threatens her child's happiness...

Wow. Women are pretty scummy aren't they, Amy? Not only do they only care about money but sex also takes precedence over their children.. 

A commenter is in disbelief that women leave their husbands simply because they want to have sex with other people..

So the ONLY reason women leave their husbands ( notice, it is ALWAYS the woman leaving the man and never the other way around) is because they simply- "don't like" them anymore. I always thought women wanted their children's fathers in their lives. Guess I was wrong...

This commenter has a few ideas why a woman might leave her husband..

Once again, it's the WOMAN'S fault. If only she still liked her husband after he beat her, cheated on her and spent all their money at the track. If only she put aside her needs for a minute and thought about her children's "alleged" happiness....

I always thought the man that was loving and consistently in the child's life was the father but I guess as long as you give your sperm that is the only requirement needed. I have a feeling many  children would disagree...

 Well, have no fear ladies. I know you think Amy is a woman hater but she doesn't think so highly of gay people either. At least we aren't alone!

I bet this kid would disagree with you Amy....


  1. WOW! I've seen her troll natural birth and home birth blogs, sites, threads, and more, but OMFG I am reeling in disbelief now.

    If anything, I am happier knowing that she has absolutely nothing of value to say now.

    Thank you for pointing out the fact that she just likes listening/reading herself and is worthless. No more time shall be given to her and her ignorant mind/view.

  2. I agree Lilith. This was very informing to me because I suddenly realized that nothing she says holds any importance- I mean ZERO. All those times she insulted natural birth and homebirth mothers for being stupid and selfish.. it's absolutely worthless. She seems to hate women so I don't think anyone could ever live up to her standards.

  3. From Mica- who's comment would not post:

    yeah...because being with a cheating asshole is healthy for children...all that resentment and anger and fighting must be great for children. What an uneducated idiot this woman is! Hell, she's not even a woman...she is a waste of breath, a human body, and apparently the brain she has doesn't work. Im an unwed mother...two daughters...still with the daddy after 7 years almost...i dont need no stupid paper saying im with someone. My mother is a lesbian and even though my parents lived and still live together...i would have been happier if they had moved apart while I was growing up because of there fighting. To stay together for the sake of a child when your unhappy is bull!! Screw you Amy...your a soulless coward! You have no morals and you should have been a man because you make for a piece of shit woman...but then again many men are not nearly as pathetic as you. Have fun with your worthless, depressing life.

    1. Mica- I agree with you and disagree with you. I think we need to put our children first, people in our country don't do that anymore. Its always about me me me. Studies show that children are better off in a two parent home that is peaceful. So yes it would have been better for you if your parents didn't live together. If there is any kind of abuse the spouse needs to leave- its in the best interest of the child. Also agree that a spouse who continues to cheat is unhealthy for the children.

      However I don't agree that if one (or both)parent is unhappy they should leave. Unhappiness is not something that happens to you, that you cant control; its a CHOICE. Sometimes if you change your perspective, your attitude, or give a little you would be amazed how you can turn around your marriage. I don't feel people give an effort anymore. My parents were unhappy in their marriage but stayed together for the sake of us kids. I thank them so much for making that sacrific. They didn't fight, they were civil. I knew they weren't in love but I couldn't imagine having them divorced especially when I was in middle school. My parents CHOSE to be unhappy with each other. They were both too stuborn and too proud to change it. Because of their failures I have a very happy marriage and know what not to do. :) I will always put my children first, especially before my own WANTS.

      I don't agree with Amy 90% of the time, just please don't think because I disagree with your statement, "To stay together for the sake of a child when you're unhappy is bull" means that I'm a supporter of Amy. I think its sad there are doctors like her.

  4. Since I have been blocked or banned from commenting on your page: I don't agree with Amy's stance on single mothers and gay/lesbian couples. But I have never found that I should firmly believe everything that someone says, even if I agree on occasion. I like Bill Mahr doesn't mean I think everything he says is gospel.

  5. Atina- you don't think this speaks VOLUMES about Amy and her ability to be rational?

  6. The problem isn't that what she says is ignorant and vitriolic. The problem is that, despite the fact that she hasn't practiced in two decades and has a VERY narrow and damaging agenda she pushes, she is still featured by Time magazine, the NYT, and news and media outlets as an "obstetric professional" or simply as an OB-GYN without viewers being made aware of her bias. Most people outside of the "hardcore" birth culture don't know who she is and are likely not to know that they need to take what she says with a hefty handful of salt.

    It would be like if someone interviewed Ina May Gaskin on epidurals and c-sections without mentioning that she's a natural birth advocate -- except that Ina May wants women to have more freedom in birth, not less. People outside of the childbirth community need to be made aware of the drug she's pushing so that they can really be informed about what they're signing up for when they accept what she has to say as "professional opinion."

  7. I think that once you realize what a zealot someone is, it brings into question the validity of everything else they have told you.

    Let's put it this way-- pick ANY NCB advocate who you feel spreads misinformation (in your eyes). Now tell me you give them benefit of the doubt they are right most of the time, despite it? What, no? Even if they have a good education, or credentials?

    I don't want to hear ANYONE buy into Amy's cries of sexism against the likes of Odent, Dick-Read, and others... people who actually make women feel empowered, when some of you have never cracked a BOOK by these doctors, and yet, you back Amy still even after she has shown she is bigoted. I want to hear nothing. You can hide behind science and doctors all day long, but Amy is not the final word on medicine. She isn't even ONE word in feminism or women's rights.

    You'll believe what you want to believe, but you've bene shown the truth.

    Keep using double standards and no one will take you seriously. You have to give the same consideration or lack thereof to everyone. You don't get to still support those who are directly against the values you claim to represent. That's hypocritical.

    I guess some people can do no wrong, and are always worth supporting? That's worship. That's indoctrination.

  8. Even aside from all the other arguments, what about when the father leaves? I bet that's somehow the woman's fault, too.
    It makes me so sad to see this woman spewing hate and misinformation all over the internet.

    1. I think if the father unhappy the woman needs to take some responsibility in it unless he is a narcissit or has some mental disease. Its not 100% either persons fault. The fault is shared when a marriage goes wrong.

      Men are actually not hard to please, its us women that are indecisive and complicated. :) Men just want to feel appreciated, acknowledged, and have affection. If I make my man feel all this then he treats me like a princess and then I'm pleased. Women have a lot of power in the marriage!

      Think about what kind of wife your are, would you want to come home to yourself? I think spouses need to wake up everyday with the attitude, How can I make my spouse happy today. Because isn't that what love is, wanting to make the other person happy? Or is love all about us and what we want, when we want it?

      I absolutely disagree with Amy when it comes to her stance on birthing. I think the US is so f'ed up when it comes to how we birth our babies and Amy and doctors like her are to thank for it.

    2. I don't want to be treated 'like a princess'. How patronising. I want to be treated with respect, as an equal, the same way I treat him. I do not want to enter into the co-dependent dysfunction of thinking I am responsible for my spouse's happiness - or he, mine.

  9. I have another theory...

    Maybe "Dr Amy" is just a troll, stomping around the internet and saying outrageous things to get a good debate going.

    1. I thought that too because how could someone who has practiced as an OB truly claim they had never managed a stillbirth or that every baby is saveable in hospital.
      I think she is real though, scary as that is. She has been published off the net and the pics available do seem to line up.
      I truly believe the best policy is to ignore her though. She gets nothing out of it that way. If you take the bait she gets the enjoyment of knowing that she has hurt women.
      I think its very sad that many of her supporters though dont recognise her anti-woman stance though. I'm sure many of them are single Mothers, lesbians, have been in abusive relationships or have needed to access termination service. Or maybe they do know, but choose to keep her "on the team" because the MD beside her name gives her credibilty.

  10. theperfectbirth- YES! Exactly. Amy likes to talk about what is and isn't feminism. This is coming from someone who couldn't be less of a feminist if she tried. She represents everything that is anti- woman; against natural birth, against homebirth/choice of birth, against single mothers, against women leaving their husbands, anti-choice. I mean come on! And WOMEN look to her for information? Any woman who follows her, must truly be incapable of having an original thought. Wake up people!

  11. What about when two married men want a baby? What then? That must be horrifying in her book. What about when a surrogate has a baby for those two men? Well, she can rattle on to me all she wants about it (being I am a 3rd time surro for a gay couple), but it'd be in one ear and out the other.

    Seriously, what a selfish and judgmental person. She really has issues, beyond the obvious, and I almost worry for her mental state.

  12. The Skeptical Mother-

    Thank you for your support on my blog post about the horrific treatment of myself and others at Amy's blog. My son died at a homebirth 11 months ago. Unlike what Amy tried to say happened (I have no idea how she is a definitive source of others birth information), my son ultimately died from complications with Cystic Fibrosis.

    I happen to view the world in a very spiritual sense and my sons birth had so much symbolism for me. I dared to try and speak about this on Amy's site and I was torn to shreds. I ended up removing my posts because there was no point to them other than the extreme cruelty and insensitivity of Amy and her cronies.

    I did however learn this about Amy and her followers:
    1. They do not respect (or listen to) the different views of others.
    2. If you dare to disagree with them be prepared for insults.
    3. Of you persist, they will inevitably start calling you insane.

    It is a horrible joke. I am sad to say that even though my blog is very new and the post had only been up for a day, two other women who have been mistreated my this women after their children had died have contacted me.

    I wish you well on your journey,

    1. Alicia, that has been our experience as well. It is all the more callous and unfair in your case.

      The farce continues, as they attempt to suck energy from losses wherever they can, drawn to them like zombies to the living. (Don't read these unless you want to know more about what these people are doing, per my description: &

      I was reading your blog, and this same crowd has befriended Margarita. It's disturbing, and two-faced. Such obviously mentally ill people shouldn't have such unrestricted access to the internet, but they do. Good people like you get hurt for it. I'm so tired of seeing that. I guess we can't do much about it except out them as who they are, and offer our love and support to the ones left wounded.

  13. Alicia-
    I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to tell you how much it disturbs me when I see Amy going after loss mothers. I myself, spoke to one loss mother who Amy also made wild assumptions about, presenting her opinions as though they were fact. It turns out this woman had lost her baby due to stillbirth- a fact that had been backed up by her doctor. I am very surprised that it is not illegal for Amy to do what she does.. I hope you know that I will continue to write blog posts about her, exposing her for who she truly is and it is my hope that as many people as possible know that she is not someone to listen to or take seriously. As I pointed out on your blog; I believe Amy might suffer from sort of mental illness and/or she is in a great deal of emotional pain. It does make you wonder what happened to her...

    I am spiritual too. I actually met the Dalai Lama a few years back and after an experience like that, when you see what true peace looks like, your perspective on everything changes. The people who attacked you on her blog, they comment on there everyday. They get a real satisfaction out of the pain of others. I have also come to understand that they lack any deep thinking and don't seem capable of seeing the big picture. Everything is always seen on the surface level... to put it simply: they just don't get it. They believe in choosing hate. They think it's a noble choice. How can you reason with someone like that?

    I'm so glad two other mothers contacted you and you all have each other for support. Please remember that Amy has a very small following and the vast majority of people pity her. Any kind and rational person is not going to read her posts and judge you mothers, they are only going to see that Amy hurts and wants others to hurt too....

    Wishing you the best too.. :-)

  14. Alicia- I wanted to also tell you that I am sorry for your loss.. and I am happy that you have found peace through the pain and tragedy of losing your sweet baby. Hugs to you..

  15. Thank you for sharing this link on my blog after my (probably too long) argument with Amy Tuteur. These quotes demonstrate to me that she is coming from a place so extreme--and so out of sync with the reality that I know and work within--that her arguments really have very little to do with anything I'm talking about.

    And I agree with Sharyn above. News outlets are either irresponsibly uninformed or willfully ignoring her bias when they bring her on. As someone who appreciates discourse, I even value hearing from biased viewpoints (as I certainly have biases of my own), but the news outlets bringing her on should at least be responsible enough to give a contextual explanation that shows that she is at the (very) extreme end of this debate.

  16. Is this woman serious? Like, really? I don't need anyone to tell me what is best for me and my child. My husband and I are going through a divorce because we are not happy with each other. We are BOTH firm believes that in order for our daughter to live a happy life EACH of her parents has to be happy with their own lives. We're making a change in our relationship and it does not mean we have even the slightest disregard for our daughter. I'm going to stalk this Amy character and tell her to suck it.

  17. I'm just going to jump right in here to ask something, because I can't find any other blog posts about it. (Sorry it has nothing to do with Dr. Crazy)

    I am curious as to when you might get around to the 'vaccination' debate.

    I am asking because my s.i.l. and I were having this discussion a few weeks back. I am an ardent supporter of vaccinations; and she believes they cause Autism Spectrum Disorder. But all the research I've found says that the only study performed was done with skewed data and statistics by a man who has since been stripped of his license.

    So, I was wondering if you might have any other knowledge (with statistics for or against) at hand. Thanks!

  18. I <3 this post. I have been warning clients to steer clear of any and all things related to "Dr." Amy because of her intensity. While I would love to see homebirth become the norm again, I can fully recognize that it is not for everyone, and neither is even unmedicated birth. Zealots are dangerous because they cannot and will not recognize that there are always exceptions where real, living, breathing people are concerned. We are not mathematical equations. 2 + 2 does not always = 4. Plain and simple. I wish more people could see the harm she causes - both with her narrow views, her insulting "defenses", and the way she makes mothers like Alicia feel... Has she ever mentioned how many babies die in hospitals? are cut or injured during unnecessary cesareans? Or how about how many mothers are injured during their births because of the ridiculous overuse (as opposed to judicious) of technology? If she believes there is only one right way to give birth, she should at least put her faith in a system that works... Not a system that deems 1 women in 3 needs major abdominal surgery to have a baby.

  19. Oh my goodness! As much as I think children would benefit from 2 loving parents, or even moreso, a family that loves them and cares for them, not any father would do.
    My father left our family (not just my mum but the kids too), when I was 5 and my brother and I agree we do not wish he stayed. He didn't care for us, he thought of us a burden. I can't see how that is selfish and indulgent of my mother. She was selfless in her love for us, by caring for on her own and remained celibate.
    You can't discuss with people like Amy. She doesn't like facts. She must be a shill.

  20. Thank you for posting this (and really for everything you post). You use facts and science to back up your beliefs. Amy, who I will not dignify with the title of Dr, is a troll with a VERY dangerous agenda. She writes pure fiction that is sugar-coated by her once-upon-a-time-degree! She is a quack plain and simple and I think it is so important that we make sure that is known before she harms any more women! Thank you for the hard work you do to truly HELP women!
    Natural Mommy Talk

  21. "If you dislike women, you don't want them to have choice." I totally agree. So, do you support elective induction and cesarean without medical indication? Do you support a woman's right to feed her baby with a bottle instead of her breasts? Are you pro choice, and pro gay marriage?

    1. I support elective inductions and c/sections without a medical indication. I support a woman's right to feed her baby any way she damn pleases. I am pro-choice. And am I pro-gay marriage? Uhhhh, did you even read this post? Check out the video I linked to at the end, that might answer your question, Cassie.

  22. I just have to say, THANK YOU, for writing this article!
    I LOVE YOU and I completely AGREE with you that Dr. Amy hates
    women and women who advocate for THEIR OWN choices.

    Her own father is dead, succumbing to lung cancer that was "missed" in a pre-op, state-mandated, chest x-ray. The doctor, a urologist, ordered the test because he was required to, prior to operating on his patient for bladder stones. Apparently a repeat chest x-ray WAS ordered, but the results were never disseminated to the patient, he went on "un-diagnosed" and not treated for 9 months...

    Her's her version of the story...

    "My father assumed that the problem had been technical; perhaps the X-ray was too light or too dark. He reported the next morning, as requested, for his repeat chest x-ray and headed off for surgery. The surgery went well. The bladder stones were easily removed and he recovered quickly and completely. What my father did not know is that he had been asked to have a repeat chest X-ray because the original X-ray had shown a small abnormal area on his left lung. The radiologist could not be certain about the identity of the abnormality, but strongly suspected that it was cancer. The repeat film confirmed that it was, indeed, cancer. Why had (my father’s doctors) failed to tell him of his cancer diagnosis? Because every doctor (involved in the case) had thought that the job of telling the patient this news, belonged to someone else. The radiologist thought that the urologist would tell my father, since the urologist had ordered the x-ray. The urologist thought that the radiologist would alert my father if there were anything abnormal on the x-ray. The anesthesiologist was aware that the chest x-ray showed a small cancer, but assumed that either the urologist or the radiologist had told my father. The radiologist actually sent the urologist the x-ray report, which mentioned the cancer, but the as the urologist admitted at trial years later, he had never looked at it."

    So, perhaps she's a bitter, old lady, having lost her father before his "time" and she takes it out on EVERYONE!

    OR... perhaps she's just an bitter, old lady, because she IS a bitter, old lady.

  23. Wow. So...ummm...if my husband were cheating on me (which he DOESN'T), I'm expected to stay with him and potentially expose myself to life threatening STD's which may result in my children having a DEAD MOTHER, rather than tossing him to the curb???

    SERIOUSLY? That action would make me selfish?

    Don't get me wrong...I do know couples who have worked through infidelity. But here is the ticket...the unfaithful partner has STOPPED BEING UNFAITHFUL, admitted to wrong doing, and worked to rebuild trust. To say that a married person--male or female--is SELFISH for leaving a chronically unfaithful partner is just utter rubbish.

    1. That was the first thing I thought of when I read this too Knitted! STD's are no freaking joke these days! Why would anyone knowingly continue to expose themsleves to any possible numerous infections, sterility or worse death all for the sake of continuing a dead marriage? Yeah how selfish to walk away and take care of your own health?? A live healthy mother seems preferred to one who's dead from AIDS due to her husband's serial cheating. But I guess the good ol' doc gives you extra points for staying in a marriage that kills you! I can't wrap my brain around that..absurd absolutely absurd.

  24. I have long wondered what makes this wacko tick. I don't believe that people are evil, but some are seriously disturbed. I have been wondering for a while if Amy is in an abusive relationship and because of that she was forced to quit her career and never practice as an OB, presumably because she got pregnant with her first child.

    It would make some sort of sense that a woman who feels she is trapped in an abusive relationship would be pathologically angry with women who make their own choices and the bloggers who support them.

    Reading this, I am now convinced that Amy is in an abusive marriage, likely with a serial adulterer. That is the only way I can understand her statements.

    "There are plenty of women who stay with and "love" men who beat them, their children, or both."

    "Is adultery enough to put Little Johnny's happiness at risk?

    No. Ask the many women (and some men) who tolerate it, they will

    Very scary statements from an "educated" woman.

    Please note that I am not saying that Amy can't help herself or that she is a victim. She clearly has made her own choices for her life and yet seems to be enraged when women make different choices than she did/would.

  25. is there actually any proof dr amy is a dr at all and is an amy and not an andrew? it is reading more and more like a bitter twisted man to be honest.

  26. Dr. shAmy's comments sound like a poe. I'm reading them while honestly thinking that someone had hijacked her blog and started commenting as her. I wonder what her religious beliefs are. I can't imagine believing this without feeling that you 'have' to to conform to a religion.

    SMM, it's all speculation but it makes sense. Sad, really sad.