Friday, November 25, 2011

Breastfeeding, Boobs, and Silly Facebook Rules

Dearest Facebook,

I'm really not trying to be one of those people who nitpick and complain about every, little, thing but can we talk about your double standards for a minute?

What I'm trying to figure out, is why you find an image of a mother nursing her children, obscene? Is our culture THAT uptight that we get offended when see a flash of a woman's breast with a baby attached to it, but happily accept a flash of a woman's breast, as long as it's in a sexual manner?

Let's look at some images that are enough to get a user completely banned from facebook...

And now let's look at some images where no one bats an eye...

So, what's the deal facebook? We aren't just trying to be whiny, difficult mothers. We only want what is right and what is fair. Do you have a good answer for us? Why is something that is so natural and so beautiful, unacceptable to you?

I'd like to end this post to you with a message, written by Skeptical Mother fan, Sharyn Alwine Thomas..

No one is suggesting that Facebook eliminate or change the anti-obscenity policy designed to protect and preserve the innocence and safety of children while online. What we are suggesting is a measure of reasonableness... 
Facebook says their policy exists to protect children. Breastfeeding mothers ask only to do the same: Protect children and encourage other mothers to protect their children. To this end, we ask for the ability to portray breastfeeding in an honest, open way as being a normal function of human life...
We know that social media sites can act as a means to effect social change for the better. We've seen it change cities, countries, regions and the world. We ask you to reconsider your image policy in order to foster in the Next Big Social Change: The encouragement and support of proper infant nutrition for women around the world.
We, mothers and supporters of mothers, believe Facebook is capable of heralding that change.

Thursday, November 10, 2011


I am really growing weary of all the hypocrisy I am seeing. And, I am going to be honest, that hypocrisy is mostly coming from the people who are against homebirth and are "fed up" with natural childbirth. Hypocrisy such as being pro elective c-section but adamantly anti- homebirth. If you cannot understand the hypocrisy in that, you need to reevaluate your beliefs. Let me explain.
Elective c-section without medical reason has a neonatal death rate of 1.77/1000.

When the people who are against homebirth analyzed the CDC data on homebirth, they came up with a neonatal death rate of 1.15/1000. (found here)
Don't forget the CDC data on homebirth actually includes high risk women and women attended by "other" midwife- which could mean a doula or a friend who hopes to be a midwife someday.
So, just based on this alone ( let's forget about the numerous benefits to baby and mother at a homebirth for a minute, especially when compared with c-section ), more babies live at homebirth than babies who are born by elective c-section, with no medical reason indicated. Here is my question- do you think it is hypocritical to support the one where more babies die, and at the same time, relentlessly go after the one where more babies live? Interesting question to ponder.

Then there is the hypocrisy of "blaming loss moms". Oh, am I tired of this line. I am tired of people using this statement to win arguments, to make themselves look sympathetic and to make other people look evil and cruel. If YOU blame mothers who have lost babies, then you are a hypocrite if you get angry  when other people do it, too. Please, please, take a look at yourself and your own actions. Work on yourself first. You think it is wrong to blame loss moms? Okay, then, don't do it yourself...

The majority of these comments ( a few others were about two other loss moms) were about a woman who labored for eight days and her midwives would not take her to the hospital, even when she begged. Taken from here. These are what the commenters, who are against homebirth, had to say about this mother's loss...

                BWF had absolutely no responsibility in this. Again, totally misdirecting blame.

                           The comments below are from two other homebirth loss stories taken from this blog..

         Those who are against homebirth, use the line- "NCB'ers always blame loss moms!" So, they are not happy when their cover has been blown. Guess what? They blame loss moms! Is it okay? No. Leave these mothers alone to grieve in peace. But, as I was kindly informed, numerous times when I asked for this, on this anti-natural birth blog, "they put their story on the interwebz, so we can judge it if we want..". Wow, how thoughtful.. how kind. Maybe, now they will look at themselves and the next time some grieving mother has her story posted on this awful site, people will protect her and defend her. And, for those who like to always claim it's the NCB side who blames, please come back to this post every now and then and have a wake up call.  Read your words, read your friends words, check out the kind of comments YOU like.  Hypocrisy, ladies, it's what you ate for breakfast.